Losing what was found,all is lost but hope remains
by BadassGenius
Summary: This fic takes place right after the finale and features James leaving the island for good. Suliet implied.


**Fandom:** LOST  
**Character: **Sawyer (Suliet implied)  
**Rating:** PG  
**Status**: Complete (One Shot)  
**Disclaimer:** The characters and the show belong to ABC, not to me.  
**Author's Note**: I'd like to thank Richyl 'cause she's an awesome beta tester and she's just so sweet. I'd also like to thank Ale for being my first reader and for her support. Love you girls! This is dedicated to all my Suliet friends, who i simply adore. Well, i warn you. This is a very sad fic. Enjoy! :)

They were leaving, for good. James didn't even remember what real life was, he had lived on the island for way too long but he needed to go the hell away from it. While flying back home he sat next to Claire and Kate but they didn't talk. All he could do was look out the window, thinking about Juliet and how he was a different man now. He missed her like hell but he wanted to leave the island because he was so broken inside that he was sure that being miles and miles away from her would help.

The Ajira Airlines plane arrived right on schedule at LA X airport. During the flight Miles managed to make the radio work so they were able to get in touch with the mainland and to receive all the help they needed to fly the plane back home.

The press was waiting for them, the police was there too. Everybody wanted answers they didn't have. All the Ajira passengers wanted was to go home, they weren't ready to tell their story yet, they needed time and they didn't even know what to say.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Claire asked him. She and Kate were going to Claire's Mom where they would find Aaron. Claire couldn't wait to meet him and she seemed to be back to normal.

"Yeah, Crazy Hair. I need some time on my own" he smiled at Claire and Kate "But I'll see you again, ok?"

The three of them hugged and then parted ways. James looked at them going away and his heart broke even more. Claire lost Charlie and Kate lost Jack but they had each other, they still had somebody to count on while he was alone. Alone with no idea of what he could possibly do in with his life now.

After a week spent in a hotel, James decided to remain in Los Angeles. He wanted to find a job because being free all day was driving him nuts. He really didn't need extra money because they all received a great amount of money from Oceanic Airlines but he needed something to do.

James went downtown to rent an apartment. That part of the city was cool and it had everything anybody could ever want from a city. It wasn't like this for him, though. He started to admit to himself that his life was empty even if he was miles apart from Juliet and the thought of her just made him weaker and even sadder. His real life was back in the 70s, on that damn island, with the love of his life.

His days went by slowly; he was depressed and would spend his nights at the bar right in front of his apartment. Girls hit on him but he pushed them away all the time, even harshly if they didn't understand the message. Being with another woman wasn't on his mind, he didn't want some random women, he just wanted one. The person who died in his arms some months ago.

James managed to get a job interview on a Monday morning and he couldn't be more excited about that. Maybe he finally found a distraction, something to help him move on somehow. Something that helped him to fill all that free time. But in his heart, he knew that nothing would ever fill his empty heart.

He woke up early, dressed up and took a cab to bring him to the job interview. He arrived early, so he decided to get a coffee before going to his job interview. There was a coffee stand right around the corner and he could already smell the good aroma of the coffee.

The queue was moving fast and his turn arrived in no time. There was just one person left before him. It was a blond woman and he realized that there was a little girl right next to her.

"Two donuts and one Vanilla Latte Coffee with no sugar, please" she said, smiling. She grabbed the food and gave her daughter one donut.

"Here you go, Rachel" The toddler took the donut and started eating it, all happy.

Then James caught her eyes and he felt like the ground under his feet was breaking: the woman had magnificent blue eyes and her blond hair was so long and straight. She was tall and thin. Beautiful.

James' heart broke once again because that woman reminded him of Juliet so much and seeing her with a child destroyed him because he wanted the same for himself and Juliet. He wanted to marry Juliet, to have kids with her, he wanted to have a family and be together until the end of their days.

Suddenly, he heard the woman yelling desperate and he realized what was going on. The little Rachel was running to the street while cars were coming. Her mom was in shock, all she could do was cry desperately, she just couldn't move. James knew what he had to do. He ran as fast as he could to the street, he needed to save Rachel. He grabbed her in the very moment a car hit the two of them.

James and Rachel fell on the ground, the little girl still in his arms. James protected her with his body becoming a shield and he saved her. "I got you" he whispered. Rachel started to cry but she was fine because she was able to stand up and run to her mom. James couldn't save Juliet but he could save that little girl.

His body was hurting so much, he could hear a lot of people crying and talking to him but he really couldn't understand what they were saying. Their words were so distant, his head was spinning and he knew he was dying. Rachel's Mom sat on bended knee and held his hand.

"The ambulance is coming, don't let go" she said, crying desperately "Thank you so much" she added.

And then he saw her. He saw the two of them together, somewhere.

"We should get coffee sometimes."

"I'd love to but that machine ate my dollar. I only got one dollar left."

"We can go Dutch."

In that very moment James felt complete because he could finally understand Juliet's last words; they would meet again. He didn't know where or when but he knew that he would see her again.

James didn't only see random blurry flashes; he felt something beautiful called love. He felt Juliet right beside him, he could feel her presence, like it was something real.

"It worked" he whispered, smiling a little bit. Then he closed his eyes and exhaled his last breath.

He was ready to remember, to let go, to move on because he knew that the place he was about to go to was way better than the place he used to live in; a life without the person you love is not worthy of being called life, according to James "Sawyer" Ford.


End file.
